Will I Fit In At Church?

I’ll admit it, I don’t usually have worship music playing in my car. As a future pastors wife, I know the mold Christian culture expects me to fit looks a certain way. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good worship night or praising with our church band on Sundays. It’s just that alone in my car, I prefer singing along to the top 40.

            My makeup is rarely done and my nail polish is always chipped. I can’t bake to save my life, it’s a struggle to read my bible every day, and the idea of praying out loud in a crowd makes me a little nauseous.         

When you imagine the perfect Christian woman, it often feels like I do not fit the mold. For a long time, this would keep me from making relationships within the church. I thought I could never keep up with the women in my church carrying Beth Moore devotionals on their way to a bible study at Starbucks.

            But then something changed, I put away my own biases and attended one of those bible studies. I did not pretend to like coffee or clunky cross necklaces, but no one asked me to leave. No one told me I did not belong because they understood the Biblical truth that each of us were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

I did not grow up in the church. I like to go out dancing at clubs, movies about ghosts,  and taste testing at wineries. Many of the rhythms of church and church culture were unfamiliar to me for a long time. Yet despite feeling like I might not fit in at church for so long, the Lord still had a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). He designed me to be a woman who is a little bit bolder, a little bit feistier than “church culture” has said is acceptable in years past. He designed you to be exactly as you are too. At the end of the day “church culture” is often just personality traits we have imposed on ourselves, and it’s okay to break those norms. God has designed us each as unique, individual works of art (Isaiah 64:8). He loves the distinct personalities we have because He is the one who created them. We should learn to rejoice in that difference as gifts, just as He does.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.